Happy Father’s Day

In Honor Of My Father


I think it’s safe to speak about my dad now without the waterworks lol I’ve truly come far from where I was a few years ago. With the help of God, my mother, close family & friends, I’ve overcome serious depression from losing someone so close. Since the moment I found out of my father’s passing, I became numb. For two weeks straight I couldn’t eat nor did I leave my room. My moment of transparency: I was forced to bathe and after this kinda loss, I secretly wanted to die. I slept most days away hoping I would wake up from this nightmare. It wasn’t the right or best time for this to happen in my life. I needed him longer. My dad wasn’t perfect, but he strived for perfection. He was a spiritual father to soooo many. Every kid in the church loved my dad. He had nicknames for just about everybody lol I was “Boo”. He always gave words of wisdom and praised me in all my endeavors. He had a singing voice like no other. He took me on dates even though half of them we ended up working and meeting his clients lol. He spoiled me by giving me anything I asked for. He bought my first car and is also the reason I have a shopping addiction. How could God take him from me when I was only 19? I had so many questions for God and I really didn’t care to hear the answers because none of them would be good enough. For the next 8 years, Father’s Day would leave me crippled in my own home. I didn’t go to church and I wouldn’t watch the tv because of the commercials. I’d make my post about him on social media then log off to avoid seeing others post about their dads. I called into work twice on the anniversary of his death because I couldn’t get out of bed. I would pass by his gravesite after my shift at the funeral home to only cry til I made myself sick. I didn’t grow up as a statistic who was fatherless. I am grateful for the time we shared and it wasn’t until 2 years ago that I separated myself from depression. Both of my parents pushed me to be successful and productive in life. I realized my daddy wouldn’t want me to be gripped by depression, but to utilize it as an opportunity to do and be better. He owned lucrative businesses and was such a hard worker. I see myself being the same way. I wear his last name proudly. It took a lot of prayer for God to take the anger away. I was angry with God AND my dad. It’s true that time heals all wounds but that doesn’t negate that you’ll still be left with a scar. Now, I can smile on his birthday and Father’s Day because of who he was to me. He always wanted the best for me. He’s sorely missed but I’m sure he’s not Β too far from me. If you’ve read thus far, I pray that should you ever lose someone so close, God gives you peace that surpasses your understanding. Peace when you’re looking for answers you don’t care to even hear. Peace when you allow fear and depression to grasp you. Peace that will comfort you and ease the pain. Now I’m even more compassionate while servicing funerals because I know what it feels like to be on that front row. Don’t let your loved ones’ passing be in vain. Life isn’t promised tomorrow and death is inevitable. Live and Love each moment you’re blessed with! πŸ’œ


4 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day

  1. cousin.. your tranperancy is such a helpful stand point!.. it’s amazing how you don’t ever know what the next person is going through or dealing with but I commend you for your new found strength in being able to talk about the place that you have come from concerning your dad, my cousin/uncle!.. I KNOW how much he loved you and I’m sure that he’s sooooo proud of the woman that you have become!.. keep shining like the rare diamond that you are.. I don’t get to see you often but know that I love you!!!.. ALWAYS!..β™₯️


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